i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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