Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
