This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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