Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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