watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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