So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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