I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
