I feel great
I just peed on a car
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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