There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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