All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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