When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize