a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
