oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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