He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
