He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
