Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize