I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
