I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
