The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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