have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
