also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
