Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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