He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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