You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize