She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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