Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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