i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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