Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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