I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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