Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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