dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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