That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Randomize