She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
