we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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