Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
