any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
