Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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