Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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