don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I want to fling myself into the sun
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize