I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize