Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Is Oprah even human
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
