my soul wont recognize me after tonight
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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