It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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