I want to stick my p in your. b.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
