No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
