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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Mommy issues

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid

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• (347): View more from New York

  i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Does he think you're psycho?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Officially...... yes.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?

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• (310): View more from California

  Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason

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• (925): View more from California

  Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.

  (650): View more from California

  Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong

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