I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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