she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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