he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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