Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
