So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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