Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
