And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize
