Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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