Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
