please come you make the beer taste better
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
