Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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