Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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