Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
