I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize