No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Boobs are out for the taking
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
