Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
