We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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