Dual....:-)
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
