...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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