i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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