how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
