where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
