He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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