My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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