If i come over, it means nothing
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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