Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
