I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Everyone says I win the strip club
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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