If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
